Times are.changing

Times are changing and I'm no longer 18 years old. I no longer think I know everything. I no longer think I can handle everything. And I'm beginning to realize that although I'm an adult, I'm still afraid of things.

I have one grandpa left and he's 86 years old. He's always been extremely healthy and I take pride in telling everyone that he water skied on his 80th birthday. He's a dentist and he has a Ph.D. in psychology. He likes to make people laugh. He served a mission for our church in England. He likes to send out forwarded emails that are informative when it comes to political matters, although they're always in favor of his political beliefs (: He likes to eat slowly and can eat more in one sitting than anyone I've ever known. He was a captain in the army air corps and flew planes during WWII. And he can still fit into his uniform.

Over the course of the past week in particular, my grandpa's health has been a cause of concern. Last night my mom took him to the hospital for various test to ascertain what was really going on. Terms like "congestive heart failure" and "mini strokes" were thrown around and it just didn't settle well with me. Granted, he was never sick enough to be admitted into the hospital and the consensus of all these tests is that he's just getting older, but it's hard for me to swallow. Because this man is more than just a grandpa to me. He's like a second father. And the thought of losing him anytime soon is too much for me to handle.

We recently got together with my grandpa's brother's side of the family- my mom's cousins and their children. Grandpa's brother passed away when I was about 7 years old and as a result, some of his grandkids never got the chance to meet him. This was my grandpa's first time meeting some of these grandchildren and seeing him with them was so precious. I'm my grandpa's oldest grandchild, and the youngest is in high school. So it's been a while since my grandpa has had the opportunity to be around kids this age. He's counting on me to pop out some great grandchildren for him, but I told him he has to stick around a little bit longer until that happens!

Bailey in particular, was really fond of him. She doesn't have a grandpa she is close to, so I had no problem loaning mine out to her! And I know her grandpa (my grandpa's brother) would be so happy to know that he could stand in for him.

Whether or not she knows it, Bailey taught me an important lesson that day. She reminded me of how lucky I am to have a grandpa that I am close to. She reminded me that I need to cherish every single moment I have with him. That I need to remember to ask him questions about life and about all the things he knows and he's experienced. That I need to remember to take more pictures of him and with him. He was the one who documented my life with his camera, and I owe it to him to do the same with my own.



Times are changing and I'm no longer 18 years old. I no longer think I know everything. I no longer think I can handle everything. And I'm beginning to realize that although I'm an adult, I still need my grandpa. Perhaps more than I ever have before.

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